He found it in the latest book he was devouring, “Sex, Love and Dharma: Ancient Wisdom for Modern Relationships.” by Simon Chokoisky. He found what he had unconsciously been looking for. Why every relationship and sexual encounter he had up to that point in his life left him wanting, hungry, untouched.
He had experienced a few lovers in his life. There was Kathy from high school, which didn’t count. All she enjoyed was rubbing his cock through his pants while she kissed him explaining she was holding herself out for a mature, knowledgeable man. Many nights full of angst, masturbation and empty solo fantasies were attributed to Kathy.
Matt had been overweight in high school and after years of being bullied he took up boxing in college, shedding the baby fat that brought him the deep scarring of insecurity in his self image and manhood.
In college Anna came into his life but with both being virgins and feeling awkward it gave way to clumsy acts and fear leading to uneventful sex that left him feeling hollow. Anna was soon replaced by bar/club one-night stands that felt nothing more than masturbation with a warm body participating in the ritual of release. So Matt asked his uncle, who seemed to be more open than his father when it came to sexuality and women, how he could find out more about the art of sex and pleasing a woman. At 25 he yearned to unlock the mystery. He wanted more than cock into pussy and with a history of quick releases due to untold nights and mornings of beating off, he knew there was more. Much more. His intuitive uncle gave him the book by Chokoisky.
It was full of wise and ancient counsel covering many topics along the thread of relationships. But it was reading of the traditions of Rites of Passage in times of old that reached his longing toward the touch of an older woman. He read of societies where young men were instructed in the art of lovemaking by women who were themselves experienced and knew how to guide them. Societies where it was the wisdom of the land to train young men in the sensual expression of their sexual impulses rather than to leave them to current locker room bragging and internet porn to figure it out for themselves. Societies where young men were paired with mature women ready and willing to train them in the arts of lovemaking, crucial relationship skills and interacting kindly and respectfully with the opposite sex. The result being young men, through the one-on-one training and experience with a woman, acquired confidence that naturally spilled out to many other areas of their life.
His soul grabbed at every word and he wished he lived in those societies. Here was the confirmation that his urge was a natural hunger to be trained by one who knew the landscape of a women. A mature woman comfortable in her own sexuality, free from the confines of society that tried to instruct her in an unnatural way to look and accept her body. A woman who could lead him and guide him in the art and beauty of unlocking the treasures that would be waiting for him. He contemplated the women currently in his life and didn’t need to go any further than Eva.
Many nights had been spent beating off to thoughts of suckling at her breasts as he laid naked across her lap, cradled in her arm, pressed closed against her flesh. The sweet smell of her skin filling his nostrils as she lovingly stroked his cock in a taunting fashion; whispering to him softly of how she wanted him to touch the folds of her cunt, feel the wetness of his mouth brushing over those lips and sucking hungerly on her clit as her fingers wove themselves through his hair. He would cum as he imagined slipping through those experienced folds and feeling the grip of her warm walls work against his shaft in partnership. The moving as one. The abandonment of lust, desire and freedom he sensed was there for him. A washing of pent up energy and released emotions without fear. The acknowledgement and truth of authenticity and being known. Yes… Eva.
She was an artist and had her own studio and small gallery in the SoDo district of Seattle. She taught classes twice a week and often used naked male models as subjects for her students. That’s where Matt’s friend Adam, 27, first met her by answering an ad for male models for her class. Eva 47. A single, curvy, dark haired woman of Italian decent with a hunger for fit young men. For six months Adam modeled for her class and for her privately which lead to mutual seduction between the two. Adam would occasionally end up at Matt’s after days being spent with Eva. They would turn on porn, drink beer and mutually jack off as Adam described how methodical Eva taught him about her body and desires. The stories stayed in Matt’s being long after Adam left for home. Adam eventually met someone which ended his time with Eva. That had been 4 months ago and Matt still couldn’t get Eva out of his mind. It was time for him to take a risk and step out toward his quest for knowledge.
He looked in the mirror and even though he saw a strong, fit young man the emotional wounds were still visible to his eyes. The bullying left a desire for real emotions; authentic connections with another. A discovery of vulnerability and the trust to share the imperfect. The raw flaws that live inside humans. Intimacy.
Matt felt deeply that Eva could guide him to that place. His own Rite of Passage.
Would she agree to take him on as a student in learning her ways?
Would she trained him as she did Adam….