He was told that she had the ability to tear into the concrete wall that surrounded his forgotten heart. A wall built out of ignorance…not understanding that many of the troubles that had plagued his life had been meant to soften him, not harden him. Now at the tender age of 33 emotions that once flowed through his veins seemed to have vanished. He couldn’t remember the last time he cried. Or felt love, sadness…compassion. It wasn’t until this last breakup with a woman he thought for sure he loved; was planning on spending his life with and yet when she walked away, he felt …nothing. Not a tear. Not a flicker of pain flowed through his heart. Had he died? Was he part of the walking dead? What happened to him? Where did his humanity go?
He paused looking down at his shoes as he tied the laces. He tried to remember the pain of loss. The pain of regret. When was the last time he felt remorse? Or even love? Five years ago? Ten? Fifteen? His fingers stopped moving, suspended in mid tie…Had it really been that long?
Before walking out the door he glanced at his reflection in the mirror hanging on the wall. There it was. Eyes that had lost their light staring back at him. “Where did you go?” He whispered as he stared into his hollow eyes. “I feel your heart beating. I know you’re in there. I’m going to find you again.”
She had received his inquiry after being referred by a long time friend. A friend she had helped to find his lost soul again. A dear, courageous friend that had forgotten why he came to this earth in the first place. And now after many months of finding his own heart in the midst of her safety and trust he had sent another in search of freedom and sight.
How she loved to help them see. Help those who had lost their sight; to gain it back. To see wonder again shine through once darkened eyes. Men who had been locked away in their own prisons. Beautiful souls buried beneath the rules and protocol of a patriarchal society that told them to fight and claw their way to the top. Victims of a deeply embedded message telling that life was all about the survival of the fittest. That the amount of carnage left behind as you climbed your way through life was weighed as your worth to the world.
No wonder their hearts had hardened and eyes had grown cold. No wonder their souls were lost along with the reason they decided long ago to journey here on earth. A journey meant to help them experience the very emotions they came to discover. The thrill of love. The sensation of passion and fullness of pleasure pulsating through their flesh. The pain and remorse of broken promises. The grief and loss of loved ones. The joy of newborn life and beauty seen, felt and embraced. All that made up the wonder of being human and made them feel truly alive. Something only time spent on earth could grant them.
In the midst of her own journey, she was calling out to her tribe. Those souls who had gone out before her and to those who had delayed and now sought her on their own. How sweet it was when their paths crossed. Souls with history finding their way to familiar hearts.
She thought about the sound of this new man’s voice on the phone as she readied her strands of nylon rope across the cherry wood table. His voice sounded familiar. It had a tone that resonated with her. What she heard in a voice always told her what to prepare. Keys laid out before her in the reflections and tenor that was heard.
She picked up a section of rope and ran her fingers along it’s woven threads. Purple was the color she saw as he spoke to her during that first call. The rope started to heat under her touch. Energy began to flow from her hand into the threads confirming her choice. She closed her eyes and could see him standing naked before her. Few words would be spoken. He was a master of words..but not today. Today silence would be the master. Today he was only to breathe and learn how to BE.