“I don’t think I’m submissive Miss. I’m not feeling it.”
He was blindfolded, bond to the bed, naked, spread eagle on his back with a vibrator partially in his tight virgin ass. She knew the truth as she gently pushed past the first sphincter muscle. His sexual energy had dropped. She might as well had been giving him an annual prostate exam.
She slowly backed out the vibrator and quickly untied his limbs. He removed the blindfold and sheepishly lowered his eyes.
“It’s ok…really.” She lifted his chin. “Look at me.”
She ran her fingers through his thick black hair and was thankful for the now exposed open door to his heart . “Life is not that black and white.”
Part of maturing is being able to identify the emotions of who we are now vs the emotions of the inner-child. Many times we can remain locked in time emotionally through fantasies due to the fear of moving forward into truth that only the reality of life can bring to the surface.
In our fantasies we are the creator, director and star of what we believe triggers our sexual desires. A familiar scene that is comfortable and safe because we are in control. What we don’t understand at times is that the inner dialogue of that scene may be authored by the emotions of our inner-child. Dialogue formed from the words of others or ourselves based out of error, fear and pain. Which is why I try to move from fantasy to reality as soon as possible to avoid time spent and invested in a false truth.
I cherish every relationship that comes my way. It’s never about identifying a role but bringing forth the flesh and blood human being. Our sexual triggers may change as we grow and evolve. That’s a good thing! Feeling comfortable and solid in our own identity is golden.
With each relationship I hope I can provide a safe haven to work out the journey from fantasy to reality so that the life lived is authentic. To take the incorrect words of the past and replace them with powerful words of truth to build a new fearless foundation.
Sometimes it’s at the cost of my own pleasure and need.
A cost that continues to shape my own evolution.