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May 21 2014

The Crack in the Door…..

The door is cracked and I’m seeing the light in the other room. Didn’t know I was locked in a shroud of my last relationship. Only able to feel and see what we were made of. My sight blocked by ‘what was and had been’. Even in trying to move forward, still unconsciously looking for what I lost. It doesn’t work. What I had was wrapped up in him. In us and what we built together. Never again to be found or duplicated. Finally with the door that has been opened all the time before me, my eyes have adjusted and I see the light shining from the other side. My heart finally able to have the motivation to leave behind what was and to look forward, with courage, to explore again what ‘might be’. No preconceived ideas, but an understanding of myself better than I’ve had before and knowing what I need and want.

Of course, if and when I find that one again he will have a submissive nature wired in the midst of all that masculinity, testosterone and strength. He will love to lay it at my feet to be used at will and for my pleasure. His appetite will be what only I can satisfy. His soul will plead with me to tie him, tease him, fuck him any way I choose. His touch will be gentle when I need it to be and his love will be sealed upon me. Above all, he will want me as I am.

I’m greedy and admittedly selfish!  I’ve tasted how things can be.  I want it all.

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