Sexual Destinies

Rand was cranky at work….unfocused….not there.

The office that once brought him prestige now seemed like a cage. A gilded cage to keep the well trained animal in check with corporate life. He had moved fast through the ranks of the firm. Eyes set one day on a partnership. After all, wasn’t that the legacy of his family?  Lawyers… all lawyers fighting for a common cause. Fighting for what first began as freedom from bureaucracy had now, he realized, become a bureaucracy of it’s own. What first began as warriors fighting for those who couldn’t now was fighting to keep the money flowing.

He had poured everything into this firm and now was realizing the cost. His soul. He lost his soul. At 33 his passion had dried and now he found himself swept along the patriarchal current that ran the firm. That dryness had filtered into his relationships. The last one, Samantha. The one he thought would go the distance, looked good on paper, seemed to fit…he paused at that thought. “Why did I think we ‘fit’?  “Where did we ‘fit’?”

He thought of their last conversation, the coolness, ‘matter of fact’ tone of it. It was more like breaking a business contract than a relationship heading toward marriage. “Marriage.” The thought made him shudder. “What was I thinking! Or was thinking the problem?” He said out loud.

Rand thought of Alex, the music, the peace in her presence and how she wrapped the rope around him and remembered how it made him feel. Then he thought of the last year spent with Samantha. Beautiful and charming Samantha that everyone loved. Hard working, aggressive, driven, goal oriented Samantha. He put his hand to his heart….paused. “Nothing.” He said to himself. “What was I not feeling?” He asked himself. He thought again of Alex and how her touch seem to melt into his skin. “I was not feeling that connection….” His voice trailed off as he contemplated that truth.

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Alex canceled her other appointments that week and spent the time before Rand’s next visit in meditation and building up her own personal energy. She could feel the strength of his presence around her and knew he was at the vulnerable place of transition. The pull and need for authenticity within himself. To find that authenticity she knew only he could open those doors.

In her mind she saw he had the strength and essence of a warrior. A warrior who had lost his purpose. A warrior who had lost his reason for the fight. Weary and unaware of the slow descend into the darkness of performance. The movements of his everyday life now hollow of meaning.

She could feel him around her. “Rise…” She spoke to his soul. “Rise Rand, rise.” In less than 24 hours he’d be with her again. She knew he’d be ready. She knew she was.

****************************************

When Alex opened the door she was dressed as Rand had hoped for the first session. Dark wavy hair still up, but her curvy warm body wrapped tightly in a black, heart shaped bust-lined corset, black fishnet stockings and black heels. She needed to bring the fantasy to open the way through his transition. She could see in his eyes and facial expression it was having it’s desired effect.

“Good evening Miss.” was all Rand was able to get out of his mouth after taking in the image before him. He felt the blood rushing through his chest and groin while his mind filled with thoughts of what may be waiting for him inside.

“Good evening Rand. Take off your shoes, socks and follow me.” Alex could see the flush of anticipation washing over him. The nervousness of the unknown taking root in his thoughts. He was off balance by the visual, which was good. As a warrior he needed to be unsettled then refocused through a powerful intensity, a grabbing of the depth in his heart, to be reminded of his need for purpose and the fine-tuning of the intent of his goals.

The room filled with the melodies of Tibetan Bowls & Zen Flutes. Candles were lit and placed along the fireplace. Along with the candles the room was filled with the sunlight coming from the westward setting sun.

Alex walked around Rand as he stood in the middle of the room where she had directed him. “You are to take off your clothes, slowly, one piece at a time and place each article neatly there, on the side table.  As you do this you’re to tell me what each piece represents to you in your life. Don’t overthink this. Just lean into your heart and listen.”

She watched as he took a deep breath and knew what she was asking wouldn’t come natural to him. But he had come here to unlock his heart, his soul, his passion. Only he had that key and her part was to lead him along that path of rediscovery.

His hands came up and started with the removal of his shirt. Alex stood back and watched the strength of his fingers finely maneuver the freeing of each button. She stood close, keeping her energy pressing against his. Like the warmth of a familiar breeze soothing his vulnerability along the way. “Tell me about your shirt…” She whispered.

Rand’s thoughts were scattered. The attraction he felt toward her was flooding his senses. He could feel the pulsating blood filling his cock and pressing for release against his slacks. He pulled the dark blue shirt tails from his waist band and refocused on the task at hand. “You can do this…what does this shirt represent to me?”  As he removed the shirt he suddenly felt naked….bare… exposed.  It was confusing. That had never happened before. Ever!

“Tell me about your shirt…” Alex whispered again.

Rand felt a cold shiver run through his chest. “The shirt is a shield. It protects my heart….”

“Continue….”

After folding his shirt and placing it on the table Rand unbuckled his belt and slowly unzipped his dark grey slacks. Alex watched the strength of his thighs flex as he stepped out of each pant leg.

“And your slacks? ”

That was easy for Rand to imagine. He worked hard on his physique and the strength of his legs always made him feel invincible. It was a sense of pride for him. “They represent leg armor. Power to stand in the battle of each day.”

Now only in his briefs with his cock pushing for freedom he struggled with the many thoughts to describe what they represented to him. His fingers ran along the waist band and slowly moved them down over his hips, legs, ending in a pool around his feet. As he reached down and rose holding them in his hand he looked Alex in her eyes. His cock hard and bobbing for attention.

“And those…?” She asked.

“These represent the fine linen loin cloth that covers and secures the true seat of my power.” He meant every word…believed every word. He wanted her to hear and believe every word.

Alex put her hand on top of his hand holding the briefs. She felt the warmth from his groin in the fabric through his fingers.

“You are yet to discover the fullness of that power. And that my dear Rand is why you are here.”

She then looked away toward the dining room. Rand’s eyes followed hers. There he saw lying across the cherry wood table the purple rope she had used before. And another item. A stick…no…some type of cane.

Alex pulled his gaze back to her. “Breathe…..” She whispered.

He watched her walk past him to the chair and sit. Her eyes seeming to exam not only her work but his soul. There was still a war going on inside him with being bound. When his mind wasn’t trying to logically figure out where this was going he was able to lean into its hold. He’d start to experience a small measure of peace. But quickly with another move of her body he was distracted and pulled back to his surroundings and his thoughts became more of taking her than surrender.

He watched her watching him. He wasn’t sure what to do or say. He shifted his body weight from one foot to the other. The sensation of vulnerability increasing as his erection slowly diminished. He had never before been uncomfortable naked in the presence of a woman. He had leaned on his physique as a shield to his heart. It had never failed as a measure of control and protection. Until now.

He took a deep breath, summoning up that shield. The bound rope digging into his flesh. As he opened his mouth to speak she put her right index finger against her lips to signal his silence.

She was enjoying the slight unraveling of his mantle before her and how he struggled to keep together and in check. “Tell me again why you’re here.” Her voice was stern and more authoritative.

“What fucking game is she playing?” was his first thought.  He took another breath to cover his impatience. “Again… I feel stuck and numb.”

She leaned toward him in her chair and rested her chin in her hands. “Even now?” she questioned. “I see you as impatient and impatience is a feeling and movement.” She smiled. “Maybe you need to explore that feeling?”

She rose and walked toward him stopping close enough for him to feel the heat of her body without being touched. Her hands fondled the rope that ran across his chest. “You are to close your eyes, listening only to the music and feel me work along this frame you’re so proud of.” She brought his head down and whispered in his ear, “I only want to hear you breathing.”

Resisting the urge to move toward her, Rand closed his eyes and thought about his friend that had referred her to him. He trusted his friend, he chose to trust her. He did his best to calm the impatience.

As she walked around him, touching, brushing across his flesh he could feel the stirring in the base of his balls. “Yeah…that doesn’t help,” he thought.

Alex was getting a sense of him. He was becoming easier to read which was the first sign of surrender. A slight opening of trust. She worked more rope around his waist and could feel his body leaning more into her own. She decided to stop right above his pubic bone leaving everything below free and untouched.

“Rand, think about why you’re impatient. Who within you is impatient? What are you impatient about?” She paused. “And it has nothing to do with your needy cock. Look beyond that need. His need you know well.”

She continued to work pausing again. Making sure she had his attention. “It’s the need behind the impatience that must be found. That’s where we’ll begin.” She stood behind him and cinched the rope tighter securing the last strand through the single column tie around his wrists and back up along the harness.

Her words wrapped around him as did her rope. Both words and rope following the harmonious flow of music filling the room. He felt his body starting to melt into the bondage of the tie and the rhythm of his breath moving his chest against its fibers. Each breath loosening some of the tightness that encased his heart. The band of stress that daily pressed across his forehead began to fade…slightly. He could still feel ‘impatience’ wanting a voice. And he wondered… whose voice was needing to be heard….

Alex could feel the shift in Rand’s energy. His shoulders relaxing. His surrender was beginning but she knew with him the journey needed to be slow, methodical. He was a warrior who had lost his purpose in a world that used his talents and charisma for profit. He’d be worth the investment of her time and energy. And for her there was a flow between them that seemed familiar. She’d not walk away from that.

She slipped her right hand under the center of the harness and pulled him into her. “Kneel.”