My eyes… Some say they have the ability to pierce through to one’s heart. It’s an intensity I have felt through them since I was a child. My heart is filled with intensity. The pumping of my blood through my veins flows hot and methodically as if soldiers in my vessels bark out orders to take care of this house of flesh properly.
But my eyes….they rule this house of flesh. They turn away from cruelty, arrogance, ignorance and bigotry. They seek peace, beauty, acceptance, validation of the soul and the treasures in others.They also see…far. It’s a blessings and at times a struggle.
I see people locked up in their own emotional prisons made with the brick and mortar of words lathered with hate and fear. I see glorious hidden treasures filled with promise under lock and key covered by insecurities and actions played out in pain and sadness, authored by that very fear. Souls struggling to come into the authentic being they were meant to be…to bless, touch and amaze this earth with their magic.
I try to stay clear of the young ones. They can break your heart with their hunger and most can’t come close to paying the price of ripping out the lies that hold them bound.
Then the exception showed up ….his words spoke of one willing to pay.
“…The man messaging you now is a young man exploring his own masculinity. He is curious and wants to find out about his desires. He wants to learn to work with them and not be afraid. Not ashamed of what gives him his own sexual power. I am a man seeking connections, relationships and friendships ….. Those who want to use tools such as trust and vulnerability to dig down to the core of our desires. What makes us who we are at a primal level. I am learning to come into me and would love to have more friends to discuss and be inspired with….”
He had reached out to me months before with flattering words and I digitally patted his head as a ‘good puppy’ and sent him on his way.
This time I heard his sincerity. This time I engaged in conversation. This time I looked closer and saw a young king. A young, scruffy little lion cub marked and scared from the play yard of his childhood and yet still able to recognize a familiar sound that called out to him of greatness. A sound that lingered deep within him and spoke softly to him at night in his dreams. The same sounds he felt echoing in his soul as he read my erotic words.
Those words played into his young fantasies of a powerful woman and surrender. The fantasies that stripped from him any responsibility to come to terms with his own power that lived hidden inside him. The problem with fantasies is, if they are not a result of the truth that lies within you, when faced with one who lives in truth they crumble as light shines on their foundation.
His own words of “…tools such as trust and vulnerability to dig down to the core of our desires.” ripped open his terrified heart.
He was called on his bullshit as the lion who lived inside rose and he was faced with his true desires. To rule, to build, to create and to lead. He became not only vulnerable to me but to himself.
He wept in my arms as he felt the safety and familiar comfort of the old identity lose its hold. The cold breeze and uncertainty of the future swept into his heart knowing that he had to find this path on his own. That others would come as he was ready to receive them but the putting of one foot in front of the other and being open to those teachers and mentors along the way was his responsibility.
I watched him hit the wall. I watched as he debated whether to push forward or fall back into what was familiar. His walls cracked and he glimpsed his future.
One gift he gave me was the confirmation that I had chosen wisely and that indeed he was willing to pay any price for freedom.
Another gift (among the many) was on our last full day together. I watched the steady unfolding of his genuine surrender to the application of my rope as he melted, body, soul and spirit under my touch. It was the culmination of hours spent owning the vulnerability and revealed truth of the previous days. The awakening to himself and the responsibility to keep growing in that revelation.
My flesh dissolved into his flesh as I wrapped and bound his new found power. Both our spirits soared as he abandoned himself to me without thought and we journeyed together where time no longer existed. It was heady. It was sensual. It was glorious.
Reluctantly I set him free. I can’t bring someone to that level of freedom without it costing me pieces of my own soul and heart. But life is about giving of ourselves. And there are pieces of him that will live inside of me.
As he journeys toward his destiny I continue along my own path. Much more secure and peaceful in trusting in what these eyes see.
And a promise to each other to never settle for less than what we both know can exist between two blended souls.
Live strong! Live well my young king!
The Young King