I could hear the questions and yearning in the tone of his voice. He wasn’t sure what he wanted but he thought I might be the answer. He’d been searching, had his fantasies and I seemed safe enough for him to try them out with me. So he could find himself…find what worked and what didn’t.
There was a time when this intrigued me and I was wiling to take a man down that rabbit hole just for the exploration of the journey and what treasures may be waiting. I’m a writer and getting inside a man’s heart, soul, mind and body fed my writer’s hunger. It was a good journey and I value the men that let me into their deepest secrets and fantasies. They enriched my life and my way of looking and responding to a man. My soul has deepened with more insight than before.
But no longer do those needs pull on this heart. For a season I fed from that table of male hunger and curiosity. But it was only a passing season. Serving a purpose in my life long journey and growth. Men will always pull on my hunger but the menu I’m ordering from now is modest in size and offerings. My palate has become more discerning for those who are journeying down the same path I find myself on. More self discovery and deep calling unto deep.
BDSM is NOT my source for life. Nor should it be anyone else’s! It should only be a spicy ingredient that brings joyful color to a life already grounded and whole.
Bondage & Impact play shouldn’t be an alternative to real therapy. But an avenue to the release of endorphin’s and a method to break down long standing concrete walls. Ending in some amazing aftercare and warm loving. Just some thoughts…..
Regardless where one’s kink lies in the overall picture of the sexual alternative life…understanding that ones source of life comes from within themselves and not from any lifestyle or person playing a role in their life should be understood.
Too many times I’ve been sought out as a therapist for those wanting someone else to bring forth answers only they can answer themselves. Find for themselves. Discover for themselves.
Lately I’ve read of the disappointment of others who thought they would find answers to the questions in their souls in the midst of this lifestyle. Not realizing they have only traded one arena filled with their own thoughts and taunting demons for another. There they stand with the same patterns of thinking expecting different results.
I love this alternative life…it’s freedom… its opportunities to explore with those who know themselves and desire to walk into a dark room and discover more. There is nothing better than full transparency and trust from one who is whole.
And that kind of encounter continues to feed my soul.
The intoxicating beat for life that lives in my heart searches for those who have an awakened life pouring from the well springs of their being. Fearless ones because they are acquainted with the source of life that lives within them. One that no one can take away. Bright souls who use this lifestyle as only a tool to dig deeper within themselves.
To those who have lost their way in this life and feel forgotten, disappointed……the answers and validation you have searched for have never been in this arena. BDSM is not your source for life. Only a playground and tool.
If you stand still for a few moments you can feel the shifting and turning of the world as we knew it before changing on its axis. Transformation is in the wind.
Face into that wind and let it blow away what holds you back.
Embrace, forgive and love you so you can embrace, forgive and love others.
Find your source for life.